Joi the Artist

2010-09-22T18:23:00.003-05:00

I know I said last week that I would post some more about the painting on Friday but Friday has totally passed me by. I suck at deadlines, self-imposed and outsider imposed. Not a good look. Anyway life and frustrations got in the way of me finishing this sketch. I'm not ecstatic with it but since it isn't the final, I decided I should stop fussing over it. So that I did. It's fine with me as long as it shows of the concept I was going for. The image quality of this sketch is subpar because my scanner totally sucks today so I snapped a pic of it with my because it would have been waaaayyyy too much of a hassle to use my SLR. Call me Lazy J this week. Whatever, I have the right to be lazy every once in awhile.

But anyway, here goes the second third of Music is my Drug.

Once I started drawing this, I had one direction in mind and I totally ended up going a different way. My usual way that is. I was trying to do something different by giving this more of a cartoony feel, but I suck at that and my stuff always ends up on the more realistic side. Oh well.

Music is my Drug

2010-09-14T20:11:00.004-05:00

So..I haven't died or anything. I've just been busy. It's been a minute since I missed an entire month of posting. I been slackin on my pimpin. But oh well, t'is the past and I can't change it. But since it's been so long, I decided to preview a painting that I've been working on this past month. It's called Music is my Drug. This is only a tiny snippet. It's still in the sketchbook planning phase so the color scheme may change.

I know it's not much so I'll reveal the rest on Friday. Hopefully. Cross your fingers "X"

Until next time, peace out.

Oh and btw, those words won't be just floating out in the air like that. But you'll see when I reveal the entire concept.

The Beach

2010-07-11T11:04:00.003-05:00

The water calls as the waves crash. The sand shimmers at the water's edge where the water leaves evidence of where it's been but never where it's going. The line of its path is ever changing. With each ebb and flow, the water shapes the sand , smoothing mounds here, carving edges there. The water flows wherever it wants to go, changing the sand in the process. You can never step on the same beach twice because the face of the beach is never the same. It may appear the same on the surface but it's always changing underneath; water and sand in a dynamic relationship. Never the same beach.

Yet, it's always the same. It's always comforting, whether the tide is out or the waves are threatening. It's always changing, erasing what was there a second ago to make something new, whether it be a footstep or sand castle. It's always forgetting, washing away the past to make way for the future. The sand is always shimmering at the water's edge, whether it be in the sunlight or the moonlight.

Can you hear the water calling?

Ferry Me Across

2010-07-07T09:13:00.003-05:00

One sunny weekend I took a trip on the ferry across the Delaware River to Camden, New Jersey with Jirbaud and my nephew. It was a fun, short trip but an opportunity for some candid shots nonetheless. Here are a few:

With the City as my Backdrop

2010-06-30T07:44:00.004-05:00

I realize I've been missing my Friday posts. No excuses, that's not cool because I'm only hurting as I'm doing this to build my portfolio. My life has changed a little so I haven't had as much time to dedicate to working on it, especially drawing. I'm in the process of rearranging things and figuring it out so hopefully I can get back into a regular rotation soon. One heads up though, I have been working on a more extensive piece that can't be finished in a weeks time unless I dedicated a 40 hour work week to it, but hopefully it'll be done soon.

Anyway, last week, I promised some more shots from the Ben Franklin bridge. I guess you can call this a mini photoshoot with poet Jirbaud in between my snapping pics of the city elements. Here goes...

This last one we both felt really captured his personality. If you know Jirbaud, you know his shoes.

Nature

2010-06-24T11:10:00.001-05:00

I want to go to a national park and take in the scenery, like Yosemite or Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon. That would be awesome. I can't help but think of all the great pictures I could take.

On the Open Road

2010-06-24T08:22:00.003-05:00

Earlier this week, I went on a road trip. It was supposed to be 9.5 hours there and 9.5 hours back. No big deal right, easy peasy; I've driven that long in a straight shot before so I wasn't really worried. However, other people were because I was driving alone, no one to be my co-pilot and keep me up or takeover when I got tired. I was confident I could make it with no problems and considered this as a very good introduction to how it will be when I get my RV and move from place to place easily and at will.

I normally don't like driving, but this trip I realized that I actually do like to drive. I just don't like to drive in the city with the crazies and the traffic. You're so disconnected from your environment and the scenery around you, that's why I prefer to use a bike in the city. Driving on the highway is a totally different experience; it's like riding a bike in the city. There's much more freedom on the open road, no need to worry about traffic lights or cars cutting across at cut streets. You can just enjoy the view that surrounds the highway and let it accompany you while you drive. What's so great about driving long distances is that you get to watch the sky change as the hours pass or as the weather changes from location to location. It's really quite spectacular if you think about it. From this trip I have decided that I love the open road and an RV is perfect for me.

I like the way the sunrays pass through the trees and make patterns of shadow and light on the road. And the way when there's a bend in the road there's an element of mystery as to what's coming up next.

The bridge ahead of me and everything around me disappeared in the fog. It was serene, like driving to a cloud, so peaceful.

I like to catch glimpses of a beachy shore when entering and exiting a bridge. It just makes my day better.

P.S. Not the best pics because they were taken with my tele while driving.

City Elements

2010-06-20T19:13:00.003-05:00

The first time I visited Philly, I crossed the Delaware river riding from New Jersey on the Ben Franklin bridge and was amazed at the view of the city from the bridge. I thought it would be a great place to take pictures from. When I moved to Philly, I found out that the bridge is open to pedestrian traffic and I immediately decided that this would be my favorite place in the city.

This week, I finally got the chance to walk on the bridge, hang out and take some pictures of the city. It really has lived up to my expectations and so far is my favorite place in the city. On this trip I focused more so on elements of the bridge itself than the view of the city, capturing patterns in the urban landscape. So here's a few shots from that trip, more forth coming later this week.

This last shot was from this pretty little park sitting on the river bank looking at the bridge. This might be my second favorite place, but more on that later.

2010-06-16T15:19:00.002-05:00

You say I'm different. It's because you don't know me anymore. I've changed. I'm more me now than I ever was before.

2010-06-15T01:08:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why I write

South Beach

2010-06-14T01:25:00.003-05:00

I want to go back to Miami. I was only there for a week once, but it has so much potential. Everything was so sparkly and wonderful. To start, the drive in to South Beach across the MacArthur Causeway was eye catching, I had a hard time keeping my eyes on the road. I was surrounded by clear blue water and boats that made my eyes jump from the cruise ships on the right to the marina on the left and back.

Arriving on the island, I was confronted by Art Deco architecture and pre-1960s cars parked in front hotels that all referenced another era. I felt as if I was in a different world.

It's not the beach that made it great, I've been to better beaches but they didn't have the same kind of atmosphere. The city scene combined with the natural scene and laid back vibe is what made it so welcoming to me. Is it my paradise? No, waaaayyyy too many people, but it is a place that I would like to visit often and have a more extended stay.

Paradise

2010-06-12T20:17:00.003-05:00

I want to go to a beautiful place, my own little paradise. There would be a beach of course, with grass blowing on the sand dunes and sparkling blue water. There would be an endless supply of beauty for me to discover, be inspired by and capture with my pen, camera or brush. The sunrise and sunset would always be different and worthwhile to see, so I would never miss it. I would walk along the beach and feel the sand between my toes, the sun's warmth on my shoulders, and the light sea breeze on my cheek. Don't you think life would be pleasant? I wonder if my utopia exists.

Music

2010-06-11T12:55:00.005-05:00

I still haven't come up with a name for this weekly feature thing.I was thinking about calling it "Sharpening my Tools" since this whole exercise is meant to resharpen my skills as I build my portfolio. However, it sounds a little lame when I say it out loud. Anyway, the theme I've chosen this week is music. I chose music because, if you know me, you know I love music. I love all kinds of music, I'm eclectic like that.

I chose to shoot these two instruments, the saxophone and acoustic guitar, because they are so versatile. They can be used in any style of music. I went with that idea because they reflect my music tastes. I hope you enjoy.

Click on the images to make them larger.

Don't forget to suggest another theme.

What's in a Name?

2010-06-08T12:40:00.001-05:00

I need to come up with a name for this new weekly project that I'm working on. Last week I called it weekly check-up, but that was because I hadn't thought of anything yet and that made sense at the time. It's not the permanent name that I want to keep so if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.

So far the guidelines are that I pick a theme or subject or medium for the week and come up with either a piece of art or photography executing that theme. The theme can either come from suggestions or my own head. I will reveal the final piece in a blog post at the end of the week, either Friday or Saturday.

If you have a title or theme suggestion, shoot me a comment.

Weekly Check-Up 1

2010-06-05T20:26:00.009-05:00

So...this year off I'm working on my portfolio for grad school. To help me stay on track, I made a deal with my friends to post some art work or something at the end of each week to show that I've been working on something. All of these works won't end up in my portfolio but they are helping me get back in the mix of things since it's been so long since I've used my drawing skills. This week was the first week and I probably picked a pretty hard subject to jump right back into drawing,, but it's something close to my heart, my camera. I decided to draw it because I couldn't capture in the earlier post that showed my tools. This is the beginning of my journey. I decided to show various stages of completion to show how I work.

This first image is me putting down the outline of my camera. You can see some of the construction lines that I used to guide my angles and the shape of the lens. You can also see a slight difference in the sketching style between the camera and strap. I used a looser style on the strap because it wasn't as necessary to be precise, just needed to rough in the basic shape.

In this image I'm beginning to shade and define the camera's shape and how the light plays on the surface.

It's not finished yet but this is what I have so far. I used a hatch on the strap instead of the smoother shading I used on the camera body to give the strap some texture. There's still some white spaces because I haven't decided how detailed I want to get and whether or not I want to draw in the brand name and writings on the lens. Also, I haven't quite figured out how I want to deal with the glass on the lens yet. I still need to darken the values in some places to give it a more finished look.

Practicality? ...scoff

2010-06-02T18:39:00.003-05:00

Should you ever give up your dreams for any reason? What if it's so impractical, you can't imagine how to succeed? Should you abandon them then due to practicality? Maybe. I hope not. I once had a professor who said if your plan seems obtainable, then you're not dreaming big enough. I always try to keep that in mind when people tell me my dreams are impractical. Screw practicality.

Next Chapter

2010-05-31T09:24:00.007-05:00

At the beginning of this month, I graduated from college, culminating my 17 year journey of education. Over the course of two days, I walked across a stage, shook hands with the dean, marched into a stadium, sat in the sweltering heat, and shortly thereafter received my degree, a BA in Philosophy.

In the weeks leading up to graduation, there was a little excitement but mostly indifference. I don't think I really had the time or energy to be excited. I finally submitted my thesis on April 6th and defended it two days later. It was about 23 pages long and it took everything I had to complete it. It's still not fully complete because I need to do a few revisions but nothing major that would hold up my grade. I passed the oral defense which was actually my senior comprehensive exam and the paper itself with an A. What a relief right, not really, no time to enjoy it because all my grades were due by April 22nd, so I had about 2 weeks to complete 7 papers and 3 exams. Although sometimes it really felt overwhelming, apparently, it wasn't too too much to handle because I finished the semester with a 4.0 and graduated college with a 3.79 cumulative. So now I have alumni status.

In the past three weeks since I left school, there's still indifference and not much excitement. My plan is to take a year off before I head to grad school for architecture. Back to architecture, how many people saw that coming. Anyway, I've been chilling in Philly trying to get used to the idea of not having to go back to school after this summer is over. Although that doesn't mean I won't be working and keeping up with my studies. I have time now to return to things I love that I couldn't do in between my reading and writing major. I've been reunited with my art supplies. I'm spending this summer and year off working on my portfolio and trying to knock the rust off my old tools. This should bring a lot of peace to my soul compared to the stress of all that writing. I'm looking forward to it.

April Beauties

2010-04-05T08:11:00.005-05:00

This weekend, I had a blast with my friends. We're always together during the week and the weekend, but this weekend something was different. Our usual weekend routine consists of going to the mall or to the movies and follow that up with dinner out or chilling at the crib playing wii or board games. Sometimes we mix it up and go to a play or musical and really enjoy the change of scenery.

This weekend was one of those times we did a total change of scenery. For the first time in a while the weather was beautiful and really accommodating to enjoying the outdoors. It definitely made lose focus whenever I was indoors, hindering my work efforts. So instead of being cramped up inside, we went outside Friday thru Sunday and enjoyed the weather.

We went to see the Cherry Blossoms a few times, we walked around Georgetown, and we sat outside on the restaurants' terraces and had go food and conversation. (We played laser tag and went to the movies too, but that doesn't count because it was inside.)

My friends are the greatest, this weekend wouldn't have been the same without them. Here are some April beauties we captured together.

Beautiful Tulips

Beautiful Butterfly and Blossoms

Beautiful Friends

Wanderlust

2010-04-03T15:03:00.001-05:00

My wanderlust is beginning to get the best of me. Everyday I dream about being somewhere else, traveling the world and documenting it with my pen and trusty camera. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I'm in now; however, I'm stuck in traffic and time is moving ever so slowly. I can't help but wonder, "Will I ever get out?" I see those emergency exit doors every ten feet offering me a chance to escape and begin my travels now, skipping this impeding traffic. I could hop out and abandon my vehicle, but what's the point when I'm so close to the exit? I might as well suck it up, scoot along, and continue to daydream about my destination after I exit this tunnel.

Dare to Dream

2010-03-11T16:13:00.004-05:00

I want my escape from reality to become my reality, my possibilities to become my present actualities, my dreams to become my truth.

I have a plan.

2010-03-11T08:13:00.001-05:00

I have so much to learn :-)

New Ventures

2010-03-02T21:31:00.002-05:00

I think I want to start a new blog/website that isn't so personal. It would have a theme and more of a focus than this one. I acknowledge the fact that most of my posting here is random, but that can be excused somewhat because of the nature of this blog. Most of what I say is kind of irrelevant to the general public because I'm just talking about how I feel and what's going on in my life at the moment and not discussing something outside of my inner circle. For that reason I want to do something new while still maintaining this here glimpse into my world. I hope I have something meaningful to add to the interwebs. I'm thinking about maybe a sketch and photoblog where I capture the world around me and share why I think its beautiful. It would be kind of like finding beauty in everyday life, in ordinary things. What do you think? Any suggestions?

Full Moon

2010-02-28T22:29:00.008-05:00

So my mom calls me up as she's driving home and says, "Can you take a picture of the moon? Because I'm having a hard time and it's so pretty :-)" I said sure and this is what I came out with.

The moon itself.

The moon poking through the clouds.

More clouds with the moon. (This is actually a composite image because I had to overexpose to get the right light on the clouds and that blew out the detail in the moon. So I photoshopped a plain moon over the blown out moon and voila!)

Tuo

Ya Know...

2010-02-24T08:20:00.002-05:00

If you're not sure whether you're gonna come through with something, don't tell someone that you definitely will and leave them hanging.

That is all. Peace.

Chasing Perfection While Standing Still

2010-02-17T15:51:00.001-05:00

This is how I feel sometimes, especially when writing. It really plagues me. I want my first attempt to be perfect for some reason, even if it's something trivial or something that only my eyes will see. I know I'm anal, but this is beyond that.

Take my sketchbooks or my journals for example, there is a very particular way that I lay them out, the handwriting must be smooth and flawless because I hate strikethroughs, but I hate white out even more. I always think ahead to when all that's left of me are the things I've written and drawn; I want those things to represent me in a good light, the best light. At least I think that may be the reason behind this craziness.

What's the problem with wanting to be perfect or near-perfect? Nothing really, except that in my desire for perfection, I stifle my production. I get stuck in the planning and brainstorming phases coming up with what I think are wonderful ideas, but never putting pen or colored pencil to paper because I don't want it to come out wrong. This is the main reason why it takes me so long to finish essays for class, post to my blog, or add to my portfolio. I want my first attempt to be perfect so there's lots of self-implied pressure that I have to overcome.

I really hate that I'm like this so I have been trying to let loose and let it flow. To get my papers done, I have to fool myself by typing my rough and final drafts in note-taking software instead of directly into Word. The crazy part is, I like what I write the first time around so there's really no need to change anything, but I wouldn't be able to write that if I had started in Word. I'm crazy. I need to get over this quickly before I have nothing to show for my life. I need to stop letting my fear of failure halt my progress. Any suggestions?

Peace

Blizzard 2010

2010-02-10T09:44:00.005-05:00

It's been snowing off and on in DC for the past couple of weeks. It's really quite beautiful, aside from the hazardous nature of driving on snow and ice-covered roads, power outages, and roofs collapsing from the weight of the snow.

The snow looks so peaceful as it gathers on my windowsill. But if you look up, you'll see this.

It's still beautiful and takes my breath away. I love the snow.

This Year...

2010-02-04T15:53:00.003-05:00

I'm making my dreams come true.

I'm not going to let school or other issues hinder me from doing the things I want to do. If I just complete my assignments quickly and stop procrastinating because it's not interesting or it's not what I want to do, I would have more time to do the things I really want to do. So knock the school stuff out the way and then do the fun stuff.(Although some of this school stuff is kinda hard. THESIS!!!!!)

I have realized that everyday offers a chance to start over and re-evaluate your progress. So, I'm starting today and if I don't do it right, I can start over tomorrow. Eventually, I'll make it happen.

Peace Out

All Growed Up in 101 Days

2010-01-27T17:05:00.001-05:00

Everybody has visions and dreams of what they want to be and how they want their life to go when they grow up. There is a mere one hundred one days separating me from what's going on now and my being spat out into the real world after I graduate. My grown up time is rapidly approaching; this is what I want to make come true:

I want to live a nomadic lifestyle. I don't want to be tied to one particular place in one particular country; I want to travel and see the world. That is one reason why I would like to buy an RV and live in it full time. For the time being I have labeled it my tour bus. I can drive and park and see the entire continent. Or I could park and fly to another. I realize that this type of lifestyle comes with its own set of pros and cons versus a more traditional route; however, in my opinion the pros outweigh cons, plus traditional is boring in this case.

What are the benefits of this lifestyle?

Freedom - I can pick up and go whenever I want. I won't have to worry about paying rent while traveling extensively overseas. My worldly possessions will travel with me or be stored; so when I move to a new place I won't have to worry about packing and unpacking all the unnecessary junk that I've accumulated. (Yes, that means I will have to downsize a lot, but I am willing to part with most of this stuff anyway, except my technology, Oh please don't take that away, I would absolutely die! Just trying to be dramatic.)

Experience - Living like this will give me some amazing life experiences that otherwise, I might not encounter. It will push my out of my comfort zone. I'm typically an introverted person unless you know me. However, in living this lifestyle that would need to change as I will alone be in different locales all the time so better become excellent at making fast friends. How many people can say they have friends on all seven continents. One day I will. Not to say that I'm going to forget the friends I already have, I actually hope they will be able to join me on some of my adventures. I want to catch the Cherry Blossoms in Japan, surf off the coast of New South Wales, float in a hot air balloon across France, snowboard in the Alps, pedal a bike in Copenhagen, smoke a hookah in Egypt and Morocco, go topless on a Brazilian beach, party at Carnivals across the Caribbean, do cocaine in Columbia (jk), and so much more. I know many of these things sound cliche and touristy but that doesn't stop me from wanting to have the experience. Also, I not only want to do these things but also fully immerse myself in the cultures, picking up the language, participating in local customs, eating local foods (might be hard since I'm such a picky eater). I want to feel like my permanent address is where I am at the moment.

Independence - Traveling extensively around the country and the world will put me out the reach of my familial base. I can call them but they won't be a fifteen minute drive away and able to just pop up when I need them. I will have to rely on myself and my own wits which I like to do anyway. Most people who know me know I don't like depending on other people. So I guess this will be that to the extreme. No problem dude.

Art - Who wouldn't be inspired to produce beauty in all the different locales that I'll eventually go to. For each place I know I'll want to have at least one completed major work, whether it be a painting, drawing, photo essay, animation, short film, etc. The inspiration will be infinite, and if I ever get stuck I can pick up and travel somewhere else. Plus thing of all the artists I'll meet from everywhere. Can we see awesome collaborations in the future? I know I can. I can't wait.

This is the life I'm working towards after graduation. Any stop between now and my dreams is just a stepping stone. So if you meet me in the future and I've been in the same place for the past few years, it doesn't mean that I've given up on my dreams; I'm probably just saving up for my next adventure or saving to start my adventure.

Thinking of You...

2009-11-29T16:03:00.000-05:00

I miss you Neeka.

Coming Soon...

2009-11-06T07:51:00.002-05:00

This weekend hopefully I can finally finish the two posts that I started on almost a month ago, then school work and an attempt to have a life got in the way. I'm really starting to hate this whole reading and writing major. Oh well, can't change it now.

Higher Education? ...Really...

2009-10-15T16:33:00.001-05:00

School is getting in the way of my life and education.

Floating Thoughts

2009-09-26T10:24:00.001-05:00

...sometimes I wonder if anybody wonders what I wonder.

2009-09-23T20:54:00.001-05:00

no one wants to be mediocre

Portrait

2009-09-19T07:37:00.001-05:00

My life is an adventure. I write my own story.

This thought inspired the theme of my self-portrait. Will post when it's done.

Mini Ninjas

2009-09-15T09:39:00.003-05:00

This is the most beautiful game trailer I have ever seen. I want to make movies like this one day.

Poll Closed

2009-09-13T09:27:00.002-05:00

Thanks to those of you who voted. I appreciate it, although I didn't get the response I was hoping. To those of you who commented and said don't strangers determine your thesis, write about what you want, that wasn't the point of this exercise. I'm not crazy enough to let people decide my future for me. I just wanted to hear peoples opinions on the different ideas or the reasoning behind why they chose a particular idea. I got none of that. But oh well. Thanks for your effort.

~blah~

2009-09-09T11:36:00.001-05:00

I've been in a continuous daydream for the past few days and not getting anything accomplished. I've fallen behind in my school work and class attendance. Not a good way to start off the year.

Dare I?

2009-09-07T21:52:00.002-05:00

Have you ever wanted something that you know you can never have? Not some trivial trinket, but something that would require major sacrifices and upset the lives of multiple people. I'm so torn.

Thesis:Complete::Wendi:Alumna

2009-09-04T09:44:00.001-05:00

This past year, I have been having a small problem that may become a huge one soon if I don't make a decision soon. So what have I been so indecisive about that may make my world crumble if I don't bite the bullet soon? Only my thesis topic. The only guideline is that it must be a substantial paper of approximately twenty pages that demonstrates engagement with the leading edge of research on its topic. Oh, and I guess something philosophical since that is my major. I have a few ideas running around in my head, so you guys let me know which one you think is best. Ok here goes. Should I write on:

A. Constructing a Black Art World - this would be an attempt to construct a black art world in light of George Dickie's institutional theory of art and W.E.B. DuBois and Alain Locke's work in the arts in the early 20th century.

B. Can There Be a Black Aesthetic? - this would be an attempt to answer the question of is there a such thing as a black aesthetic, and if so, what constitutes it.

C. Authentic Individuality in Society's Sea of Sameness - this would be an existential look at what it means to be a self in society, partly introspective also.

D. Something art, architecture, or design related to possibly use as a writing sample for when I apply to grad school in one of those programs.

So that's the the choices right now. I'm not going to let you know which one I'm leaning towards because that may skew your opinion. BTW...The first two are papers previously written and that just need to be expanded upon and go in to greater detail with defense and refutation. Give me your opinion in the comments. Please and Thank You.

Out Peace

Dear Readers,

2009-09-03T09:41:00.002-05:00

Please leave me some comments or something so I won't think I'm talking to my self on here. Although I probably am. The problem may be that I'm not writing about what you would like to talk about. If that is the problem, then drop me a line below and let me know what you want to read about. BTW...I removed the chat box because it hasn't been used in over a year but I will put it back up if anyone requests it.

Sincerely,

Joi the Artist

PS. Please don't let this post read 0 comments forever. That would be so painful. Thank you loyal fans.

I Just....

2009-09-03T08:35:00.004-05:00

Want to make music. I wanna pluck some strings and stroke some keys and piece together my own melody. However, my electric is 1,000 miles away, my acoustic is out of commission for a little while (I'm out of strings, I would prefer nylon to steel anyway, the warm sound just does something to me) and I lack a keyboard. So if anyone out there is listening and would like to make a donation to my instrument fund anything will be greatly appreciated. I might also dedicate a song to you. I love music.

YAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

2009-08-30T08:19:00.003-05:00

I can finally get my PS3 because they finally dropped the price. I can get the new slim model for $299 or an 80GB fatty for the same price. Which one should I get? Oh woe is me.

Wendipedia

2009-08-30T07:49:00.003-05:00

Have you ever been on Wikipedia looking one thing up and that a few minutes later you end up on something totally unrelated (it seems) through the serious of links you clicked. That's how my mind works. I could be in the middle of a conversation and then I blurt out some random thought I just had and then proceed to explain my thought pattern of how I got there. Usually it's quite funny, at least to me :-), but most people wonder how in the world did you connect that and that and that, only you Wendi. My mind works so fast, sometimes I miss things and I end up thinking how the hell did I get here and then I laugh at myself. I enjoy the fact that my mind works like this and can make zany connections from almost anything, I think it helps with my creativity. Anyway...

tuO ecaeP

i'm back at school

2009-08-20T07:23:00.001-05:00

whoopeee :-|

Just go...

2009-07-26T16:22:00.001-05:00

I want to be a nomad.

La La Land

2009-07-26T15:43:00.001-05:00

I'm a dreamer. I always have been and I love that about myself. I've always seen my ability to use my imagination to explore new worlds as a kid or think up crazy plans for my future since I'm older as an asset. My dreams are what drive me and can lift me up when I'm having a bad day. I think about something crazy I've always wanted to do or re-read some crazy scheme I've written down. I love that. That's why if I could, I would be a kid forever and keep the fun in life. I think a lot of people forget how to have fun, especially when they get tied down by their jobs and other responsibilities. I never want to forget how to have fun.

I want my life to be an adventure and the adventures I want require some cash flow. To finance my fun I'm looking for a career that would be fun while providing me with some cash instead of just being a means to an end that I hate. I'm having a little trouble figuring out what type of career that could be. I want to be able to work with my hands and create stuff. I want to be able to go outside to enjoy the fresh air and not be stuck inside in 6x6 cubicle staring at a computer screen under harsh florescent lighting for 8+ hours a day. I want to wake up and be happy about going to work and not have to drag myself out of the bed for yet another mundane day at the office. And of course I want time to play, to have fun, to take off on an adventure and see the world, and be able to afford this fun.

Am I asking too much? It's not that I don't want to be a responsible adult and contribute to society. I just want my contribution to be something I enjoy doing and not something that I do only out of necessity because I need the paycheck to eat. Life is too short to work a job for 30 to 40 years and not enjoy it. So I'm trying to avoid that route and in doing so I've realized the path that I set myself up for isn't right for me. However, I haven't really figured out the perfect thing to do yet. For that, I think I need to keep dreaming and hopefully the perfect solution will come to me.

Peace

Jack of All Trades...

2009-06-13T07:52:00.002-05:00

Master of none,
though offtimes better than master of one.

I'm beginning to think my varying interests that stretch across many disciplines which I once believed were a huge asset are now a hindrance. At this point in my life, I'm moving from one stage to the next and need to choose the path I will take for the remainder of my life. Having a variety of interests to pursue gives me a plethora options but it also can be quite overwhelming at times. I feel like if I don't make the right choice now then I won't be as happy as I could, will always think what if, or will eventually switch and have to start over. Self-inflicted pressure always seems to be my problem although I think I can handle it.

Also, another problem I see if that I feel like my skill set in any one area is not where it should be, particularly if it were my sole focus. If I'm drawing one day, taking photographs the next, writing after that, playing music the one after that, working on design projects the following day, tinkering with computers the next, and so on and so forth, then I feel like I'm spreading myself too thin. It's not an issue of time management, it's an issue of hours spent working in a particular area. If I'm dividing my time between too many areas, then I think I'm robbing myself of the opportunity to become great in any one of them. Which is my goal, to one day be great. Practice makes perfect and developing skills take time. My solution is to pick one area and make that my sole focus for a while and where on projects in other areas a lot less frequently. I will only read books and blogs on this topic so I don't waste time online, only buy tools in line with this discipline, only frequent forums in this discipline, etc. But which one to make my sole pursuit?

The Beginning of the End

2009-05-31T19:02:00.001-05:00

I can't believe my senior year is so rapidly approaching. It seems like three years of college have gone by in the blink of an eye. I mean my brother graduated at the beginning of this month (May 8, 2009) and it's my turn exactly one year later (May 8, 2010). When I was a senior in high school this was an exciting time. I was finally going to get out on my own. But now it's downright scary. After high school I knew my step was college. But this time there's no definite answer and that's what scares me, sometimes to the point of a panic attack just thinking about graduating. I'm still excited about the idea of earning my degree, but then what? Should I go to grad school or should I go to work or should I do both and take a year off then go to grad school? But where will I find a job or what will I study are the second round of questions that come up. I find that I'm battling free spiritedness and practicality in trying to make my decision. I would love to just live at the beach, enjoy the waves, and make music and art. Who wouldn't. So I try to be practical, but I'm having trouble figuring out a career path that would make me happy and my first choice life a possible reality. I know my first job out of college doesn't have to be the one that I'll stick with forever, but I don't want to be miserable at a job and none of the options I come up with seem like they would make me happy. Which is why if I could stay at this stage in my life for a little while longer until I could figure some things out, that would be cool. But grad school isn't the answer because if I choose the wrong field that won't make me this any better. Plus, I think I want a break from school before I get burned out. So I have this summer to figure it out, then back to school, then the dreaded graduation. Oh well. Peace out.

Some Stuff I Would Like to do in the Near Future

2009-04-26T01:17:00.001-05:00

I've gone M.I.A. once again, only because I've been writing elsewhere. Recently I've been doing a lot of thinking and writing on my phone when I'm in class or at work or whenever I have a spare minute. Usually it's a list or some random thoughts that I have of some things I want to do or learn or whatever. Here's a list of a few things that I feel fall under the area of self-improvement that I wrote while chilling in my art history class.

1. I want to create a book that contains pictures of all my art works and my thoughts on them to be saved for posterity. So maybe if anybody's ever interested in them, they'll have access to the artist's thoughts long after I'm gone. This should also make me want to produce more work, I always want to do that.

2. I want a sketch diary for me to learn new techniques and see myself progress. You're never too advanced to learn and perfect new or old techniques :-). I also want to be able to critique myself. I would also use this to plan some works and themes to work on. I would see what influences me and develop my own style. Maybe I'll have an inspiration section in there too.

3. I want to start a reading journal where I keep my thoughts on books I've read and any questions I have about them. I really don't like to write in books but sometimes I have quick thoughts to jot down and I have nowhere to put them. Hopefully writing things down will help with my reading comprehension and ability to see connections between works I've read. Also, I'll be able to have a dialogue with myself for those books I revisit, I can see how my interpretation changes with age and experience. I'll probably keep an updated list of authors and books I want to read in there too.

4. I want to start a hair diary to chronicle my hair's journey. I want to start taking better care of my hair, so this will be a place where I keep a record of what does and doesn't work for me. Also, I want to try more hairstyles. Maybe I'll keep pictures in there so I remember how certain styles look.

5. I want a more active lifestyle. I definitely want to pick up a martial art to stick with for the rest of my life. Not so much for the fighting aspect, but for the mental discipline. I'm fascinated with Asian culture, so I feel like this would be a good connection. Also, I want to start biking. I think it would be cool to bike around the city, even though some of my peers may find it geeky. I really want a recumbent bike. I want to be more fit.

This is it for now, but I'm sure more will be added. Hopefully, I'll get back to posting more often too. I'm also thinking of starting a new blog that will be on one specific topic instead of completely random like this one.

Life

2009-02-14T15:01:00.001-05:00

I really love my life. All the ups and downs included. I have so much fun. :D

01202009

2009-01-24T13:35:00.001-05:00

Talk about the hypest crowd. Standing in a diverse sea of people is amazing. You feed off each other's energy. You sway with each other. You all came to that same place at the same time for the same reason. And you know this so all differences are put aside for that moment. For that grand, historical moment. I will forever know that I was a part of history. I was on the National Mall with more than one million other people witnessing Barack Obama get sworn into office. That was truly an unforgettable experience.

I'm sure I surprised a lot of people by how excited I got on election night and as the inauguration approached, because I didn't really seem interested from their point of view. I surprised myself too. But you can't but get caught up in this wave of history making. Knowing that I took part in this is something that I will hold on to forever. I can hardly express how I feel about having the opportunity to be alive in this city at this particular moment in time. To be in the midst of that crowd and feel such unity, all you can do is HOPE that feeling just keeps spreading and CHANGE actually comes. Yes We Can!

Missing Laneeka

2008-11-27T10:51:00.002-05:00

Please keep my cousin Laneeka in your thoughts. She's been missing since the night of Monday, November 24. She's a really special lady and we want her back.

http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=124074&catid=40

http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=7952403&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1

Research Methodology

2008-11-07T00:36:00.000-05:00

After going to Dr. Carr's lecture on research methodology, I can see why he's such a hot commodity and everyone wants to take his classes. Dr. Carr obviously knows his stuff. you can see that through the way he presents the material, he's very passionate about Africana Studies. Like Professor Long-White, he's very down to earth. From beginning to end he proceded to throw it down, answering questions such as what is methodology and who are Africans to each other. It was interesting to here Dr. Carr's thoughts on the election that occurred two nights before. He related a majority of the presentation to the election and Barack Obama. This allowed the audience to make their own connections from his lecture on a process to what's going on in the world today.

Another thing Dr. Carr touched on was multi-, intra-, and interdisciplinary research. This is a topic I am very interested in as I am trying to combine my studies in the fine arts with philosophy. These types of research allow you to make connections in different disciplines and give you a broader range in thinking. Also, different disciplines have different methods and methodology so you can approach issues from all different angles through multi-, intra-, and interdisciplinary research.

At the end of Dr. Carr's outstanding lecture, the spoken word artist Anna Mwalagho performed two of her poems. They were very entertaining. Her poem where she referred to her accent and the problems she encounters really touched me. I enjoyed all parts of the show.

The Black House

2008-11-05T07:34:00.002-05:00

Wow!!!!! We're going to have a black president. I woke up this morning and it was still true. Watching the results trickle in on four different networks last night was surreal. When Barack Obama, 44th President flashed across the screen, I couldn't believe it. I was hoping they didn't pull another 2000. But with the numbers he had, that would have been impossible. Obama truly does represent the change we need in this country. And just like he said, for those people who didn't vote for him, he's your president too (just like Bush was ours for 8 terrifying years). If we can disregard race to come together and elect a black man as President,then we can come together on so much more and make this country achieve its true potential and make it as great as it can be.

Oh yeah...GOBAMA 08!!!!!!!! Yes We Can!!!!!!

Sister Stars

2008-11-04T10:36:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went to a Sister Stars empowerment session where Dr. Debyii Sababu Thomas presented to the “sisters” some encouraging advice on overcoming obstacles. Dr. Thomas presented to us the guidelines for dealing with obstacles. What makes a woman a woman, she noted, is the way that they handle obstacles. But before we began, we were asked to write down obstacles that we have had in our life. My obstacles ranged from physical attributes to academic struggles. Being able to write down my obstacles allowed me to analyze how what I’ve gone through has helped define me as a person. We then defined the word obstacle and came up with this definition: an obstacle is something that gets in front of you that takes time to deal with it; it’s a barrier, it’s something that stands between you and a goal, and its nebulous – something that you can’t always see.

Furthermore, she gave us 4 words to describe what obstacles do: disappoint, distract, deform, and discourage. These four words perfectly paint a picture of how obstacles get in the way. She then said that obstacles come at different angles and she gave us the 5 ways to deal with obstacles. First we regroup, then reexamine, redirect, rethink, and then recommunicate. In the regrouping process, you must collect yourself. Moreover, in the reexamining process, one should distinguish between an internal or external obstacle. Rethinking involves finding another way. And finally you recommunicate by speaking to the obstacle and preventing it from standing between you and your goal again.

Dr. Thomas gave some very helpful advice. She communicated to the sisters about obstacles – something we deal with every day – and how to properly handle them. Many times, we are faced with obstacles and are confused about how to handle them. This session was very empowering and enlightening.

STI Panel

2008-10-30T14:53:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday night, I went to an STI panel presented by the ladies of NCNW where health science Professor Deneen Long-White was the lead panelist. The panel was very informative and even had free HIV testing at the end.

The ladies of NCNW opened with a few handouts on STIs, contraceptives, common lines people use to have unprotected sex. Most people could relate to the information. It wasn't too stiff, nor was it too comical in trying to be colloquial.

When Professor Long-White took the floor, that's when the program really started. She has a way of dispersing information that makes it easily accessible to the students. She's very down to earth and had a way of telling the students like it is. The first thing she talked about was STIs and their prevalence among college students. She also passed around a poster with pictures of also the infection looked so we as students know what to look for and when to get help. Some of the pictures were a little graphic, but they had flaps to cover them and it was nothing that we as young adults couldn't handle.

After talking about STIs, Professor Long-White went on to discuss methods of contraception such as condoms and oral contraceptives. She talked about the pros and cons of each and the proper way to use them. For example, there's no point in taking birth control if you don't follow the dosage schedule. That makes it ineffective. With condoms, both male and female, she demonstrated the proper way to use them. She had a few props which garnered more than a few giggles from the crowd. The female condom was a new sight to many people. They had heard of it but never seen it. So it caused a lot of reactions among the crowd, even more so than the finger condoms she pulled out. Although some of the information wasn't new, a lot of it was. The session was very informative. All in all, it was a great presentation.

Opening Convocation 2008

2008-09-27T14:44:00.000-05:00

Being that this is my junior year at Howard and I attended the Opening Convocation my freshman year in 2006, I decided to sit this one out and let the newly enrolled freshies enjoy this significant experience. I planned to watch it on WHUT at 11:00 but was unaware of the scheduling changes. So I caught it online. I felt that the way President Ribeau addressed the audience in a casual way was fitting for the wide range in audience. One of his first statements was an acknowledgement of the young audience (some elementary schoolers) and the diversity in the audience. His theme was "Now is the Time." He was very down to earth. He made jokes about his family and preparing his speech. He claimed he was part of the class of 2012, "these are my classmates." In saying that he made himself very accessible to the students. He attempted to give the audience a sense of who his was beyond what's written in his bio and on his resume. I felt he accomplished that by letting the audience in with his personality. He also wanted to talk about the spirit of Howard, what intangibles Howard is driven by. What makes it significant to society. He also wanted to talk about how to make Howard the university of the 21st century. I felt that the topics he addressed and the way in which he addressed them resonated with the students and he was able to connect with us in a way that President Swygert didn’t. His speech was excellent. My grade: A.

The Howard Legacy

2008-09-17T18:43:00.001-05:00

You know... I been thinking a lot lately. When I decided to come to Howard, it was a purely monetary decision. Howard covered all of my expenses; tuition, room & board, fees, meals, and even books. Howard wasn't even one of my top choices before I got my award letter. I had heard about its reputation of being the "black Harvard," the number one HBCU, the birthplace of most of the Divine Nine, and so many other things. Initially to me, it was like "Oh, that's nice, but that's not why I'm coming here." But now, when I sit back and think about it, so many brilliant minds have matriculated here and are currently professors here. We've had visitors from all walks of life. Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, John Kerry, Nikki Giovanni to name a few that's been here in the 2+ years that I have. I'm privileged to be in this environment. That's inspiring to me. But I haven't been taking advantage of that. I haven't picked the minds of some of the world's foremost African-American scholars and artists. Scholars and artists who share their classrooms with me, many of whom have open-door office policies. Most of them hare their stories and are waiting for an eager student who wants to learn about their experiences. I'm not saying I totally disregard my professors and their views. Quite the opposite actually. When they speak, I'm intrigued. I just haven't developed those personal relationships that I would be able to continue long after graduation. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because I don't ask questions unless I have a problem that I can't solve on my own or am just completely lost. That's hardly ever. Well, I think I would like to make a resolution to get to know at least one of my professors outside of class.

I'll let you know who I meet. Don't be jealous. Peace.

Cultural Heritage Tour

2008-09-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

This is my junior year at Howard. I’ve been in DC for three years and haven’t seen even half of all DC has to offer. Over the summer, my best friend and I decided to do more cultural activities this year. Not to say I haven’t done anything, but that I would like to do more. I’ve been to plays and musicals, art galleries, many museums, and restaurants with live music. These kinds of things excite me and I was excited by the Heritage tour. It allowed me to become more aware of the historical resonance of the grounds that I walk on. I’ve passed by some of these buildings and landmarks multiple times over the 2+ years that I’ve been a student at Howard, without really knowing their history and significance outside of general knowledge. For example, take the Minor building; I pass it on my way down the hill to A-Building and up the hill on my way to Burr Gymnasium. I knew it was old, but I didn’t know it was a teacher’s college. Nor did I know where the Howard Hospital stands was once Griffith Stadium. Howard Hall is the oldest building on Howard's campus and it was the home of Gen. Oliver Otis Howard, one of the founders of Howard. (Lol, he stayed on campus just like me.) I liked learning these little not well-known tidbits about my school. I feel enlightened. Howard has such a rich history and when I think about it, I feel inspired to be here because of that history.

Blogging for Class

2008-08-27T14:21:00.000-05:00

For one of my classes we have to do E-journals and we can do it in blog format. So instead of creating a new blog just for this assignment, I'm going to post the entries on here. I guess I'll change the color of the post or something to distinguish them. Idk, I'll figure somethin out.

Peace out

ya know....

2008-07-23T21:45:00.002-05:00

I used to blog a lot more than I have been lately. Why have I been absent? No good reason. Some stuff I just write to myself and don't share with the world on here. I have about 10 drafts of unfinished posts that I've started, left, and came back to but couldn't finish because I wasn't in the same mood. That's been happening a lot lately. I have so much going on in my head, but nothings coming out. I can't even write in my journals like I want to. Maybe it's writer's block. Probably not. I just can't seem to put pen to paper or finger to keyboard to get stuff out. Maybe it's because I'm a bum.

(-_-) peaces

This is for those readers who have been upset by my temporary hiatus, not an excuse but...idk

2008-07-23T21:07:00.001-05:00

...maybe I want too much...

Toys R Us

2008-07-22T19:42:00.003-05:00

Yeah... I know.... It's been a minute. So sue me. Not really.

Anyway. I like toys. So I wanna talk about toys. I would like to get myself some new toys. I will eventually, soon as I earn some extra money. No these won't be frivolous purchases. (I try to stay away from that kind of stuff.) The toys I want can be very useful. Like a Wacom graphics tablet. I really want a Wacom Cintiq but I'll settle for the more affordable Intuos line. I want a tablet pc most likely from Motion Computing. I also want a customized desktop pc that I'll probably end up building myself with a dual monitor set up. Sounds like just a bunch of fancy computer stuff. Well it is but I'll use it for my art and photography so it's fun and practical. Computers are fun... I'm such a nerd. Oh well.

I guess I used the phrase I want a lot. I probably sound like a spoiled brat. I want! I want! I want! Lol. I have tendency to get an I want attitude. But I'm ok with that because it's not like I'm demanding stuff from somebody. What I want, I get. Ok, that sounded bad. What I want, I get for myself. Much better. If I'm wrong somebody please correct me. Obviously I like toys, my New Year's resolution was a shopping list. What can I say....I like to play.

Peace.

Reflection

2008-06-02T21:20:00.002-05:00

My latest project is a self-portrait and I'm scared as hell. Why?

...Because 1) portraits are my favorite subject and 2) I think self-portraits are phenomenal because you can see what the artist thinks of him or herself. So much personality comes out in a self-portrait. I put self-portraits on a pedestal and I don't want to fail trying to climb up there.

But that's not going to keep me from doing one. But I'm wondering if someone will be able to understand one thing about me by looking at this portrait. That's what I'm shooting for. I hope I succeed.

Until next time.... Tuo Ecaep

Addendum to Shopping List 2008

2008-05-09T08:52:00.002-05:00

So yeah... I also wanna get a new stereo for my car with the in-dash GPS and iPod control and all that good stuff. $1500.00

I probably need some new beats too but that can wait.

Le Futur

2008-04-27T08:55:00.001-05:00

So I realize that I haven't blogged in a while. And it's not because I've been way too busy, but it has been the usual...I've been being me, a lazy bum. Ah well...it's not like I can turn back the hands of time and post more.

I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately. I've mostly been thinking about my future, and I've found out that I'm slightly worried about it. Only slightly (^_^). I'll be a junior in the fall. Then there's graduation a year after that. Although, I might have to be here an extra semester or two since I changed my major.

Anyway, I've been trying to figure out what I want do as far as a career. I always say I don't want a 9 to 5 or a regular job, and that still holds. While I feel the need for freedom, I also feel the pull of practicality. So, lately I've been leaning (at a very sharp angle I might add) towards becoming an art teacher. I've been trying to find ways to go from a philosophy degree to art to education as a master's. Should I get a graduate degree in art history or studio art and then get teacher certification? Or should I go to a program that has art education as a graduate degree (those are few and far between) and take the extra year of foundation courses in art history and studio art? I know I need formal training in art to teach it. Just having a smidgen of talent isn't enough. Anyway, I want formal training. Actually, I've been craving it and trying to figure out how to work it into my schedule.

Ah well...Peace

Friendship

2008-03-11T00:54:00.001-05:00

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everybody sees it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

-idk

I am...

2008-02-27T17:08:00.005-05:00

...who I am

Excitement

2008-02-26T08:32:00.001-05:00

I'm getting back my creative juices. Yay! I'm so excited because I haven't been able to produce anything meaningful for quite some time. I was stuck in a rut but I think I might be slowly pulling myself out of it. I want rearrange sometimes in my room (like I don't do that enough) to give me a better feel. This is by no means the best artistic space that I have been in. Actually it kinda sucks out your will to create. But I'm going to have to fight pass that. Maybe I should get a new journal and sketchbook to celebrate. O how I love to crack open a new one and figure out what kind of story it's going to tell. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I better hop to it.

Peace.

Unfulfilled Promises

2008-02-19T12:09:00.003-05:00

What am I talking about. I would say the title speaks for itself. I'm tired hearing the words "...I promise..." and nothing comes to fruition. It's bringing me to a point where if a statement is preceded by, followed by, or includes the words "I promise," I don't believe it. I don't even want to hear it. That's so sad. Promises are sacred. Especially pinky promises. When you pinky promise someone, at that very moment, you're making a lifetime commitment to honor that promise. All you have is your word, when people lose faith in that... You have nothing. No wonder why I don't trust people. They break pinky promises.

Status...

2008-02-15T16:46:00.000-05:00

I'm angry.

Coming Soon...

2008-01-22T10:42:00.001-05:00

So me and my homie Diana are seriously thinking about forming a start up. I won't go into any details, because it's our newborn baby and I wanna keep it under wraps. We don't want The Man stealing our ideas. Anyway, be expecting something supremely creative, something definitively Joi & Diana.

If anyone would like to invest contact me or Diana for more info.

Random Facts That Belong in the About Me Section

2008-01-16T04:14:00.002-05:00

I know I've written about myself in You Think You Know Parts 1 & 2, but that was over a year ago. Some things have changed, some things haven't. So I'm stealing this quote from my bro Beezy "If i was able to let u in my mind at any moment the snapshot you take would be worth a million words..." So here goes...

I'm full of contradictions.

I think I'm most productive and creative at night, well the wee hours of the morning that is. I love the hours between 2 and 5 am when no one else around me is awake. I have room to play, alone time to express myself, time to do whatever I want and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks.

I love to watch the sun rise and set. Usually, when I catch the sun rise, it's because I haven't gone to sleep yet.

I'm nocturnal. My doctor calls it insomnia. Whateve.

The beach is my favorite place. I want to live there. Being there does something to me.

I have a color complex and I'm ashamed of it.

I'm not as tough or uncaring or robotic as I sometimes come off as.

I can't always control my facial expressions. They usually have a story of their own to tell.

I'm afraid of vulnerability.

I fear unconditional trust.

I hate to disappoint people, yet I feel like I do a lot.

Even though I always talk about being a bum and living in a box, I really fear ending up like that. Being in college without a plan is really starting to get to me. I'm jealous of the people who have at least a career path to guide them. Everyday I try to come up with a solution that will make me happy.

I don't like to depend on others. I prefer relying on myself, so when the ball is dropped, there is no one else to blame.

Sometimes I think I'm boring.

Sometimes I scare myself.

Sometimes I think if anyone knew exactly what I was thinking at all times, they would flee in terror and think I was crazy.

I don't say I love you enough, but when I do I mean it.

I'm agnostic.

I love to think. It's one of my favorite pastimes.

I have eclectic taste.

I really enjoy movies. Especially ones that have a good story.

I like to read. Mostly classics. I've read few contemporary novels besides the Bourne series.

Music can change my mood.

I have random mood swings. :-( That's so not cool.

I like to participate in good discussions by listening and absorbing all points of view. I have two ears and one mouth for a reason, right?

Sometimes I think I talk too much. Other times I don't talk enough. I've been told I'm not a very good conversationalist. I can understand that.

I have no idea what my purpose is besides turning oxygen into carbon dioxide.

I can be funny sometimes.

I think I'm unique. (^_^) Some people call it strange. Whateve.

I try not to be one of those Random Normal People. They're so blah.

Sometimes I wish I had more cute moments in my life. You know what I mean.

I get tired of being angry.

I strongly believe in self expression.

I question a lot of things, especially traditions.

I have two competing personalities. One dominated when I was younger but now...idk. I think the other is slowly starting to fight its way out. Watch out people.

I stand up for my beliefs.

I can be very stubborn.

I can be vain.

True friends are ~~like~~ family.

I think I'm going to die at a young age.

I think everything happens for a reason.

I like to play in hair. My own when I can.

When I get nervous or am deep in thought or daydreaming I play in the hair behind my ear.

Bring Me to Life the acoustic version by Evanescence is the most played song in my music library.

I can be very particular. Sometimes that inhibits me.

If I met myself we would probably clash at first then develop a love/hate relationship. I'm an acquired taste.

My favorite Whitney Houston song is I'm Your Baby Tonight.

I have conflicting ideas of my future. On one hand, I want to be free, wild, and reckless and go wherever life takes me. On the other, I want to go home every night to someone and be able to say he's still the guy of my dreams after all these years.

I'm a hopeless romantic.

I don't like makeup.

I love to give gifts. It's magical when you see someone's face light up at the thought that you've wrapped and given to them. It makes me feel all bubbly inside. lol

Inside jokes keep me going.

My favorite item of clothing is jackets.

I think Lisa Lisa & the Cult Jam should make a come back.

I wish I would get in front of the camera more often. I don't have many pictures with the people I love.

I believe in the necessity of change.

I'm ambidextrous.

I twirl my pens/pencils when I write.

Most people don't understand the flow of my notes.

I doodle.

I don't like to cry but sometimes I wish I did more often.

I could probably be a little more healthy.

I can get confrontational and rude at times.

I'm predictably unpredictable.

A trip to the bookstore, then on to the beach is my idea of a perfect date.

I wouldn't mind owning a bookstore.

I like to go to the public library; although, I haven't been in awhile.

That Gavin DeGraw song I Don't Wanna Be is excellent.

Butterflies scare me.

I usually mean what I say, but sometimes not the way you hear it.

Communication is something I need to work on.

I can lie really well about stupid things. (Like my name being Wendolyn :D)

I occasionally blend honesty and bluntness. I don't intend to be mean. Don't take it the wrong way.

I get bored a lot but can usually find a way to entertain myself while still complaining about being bored.

I'm simplistically complicated.

What else can I say but...

I'm Wendi J.

Yaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!!!

2008-01-07T14:40:00.001-05:00

I get to see mi kids tomorrow. Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! :D

But then classes start the next day and I have to work. :(

But I get to see mi kids tomorrow. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Possibilities...

2008-01-04T02:14:00.000-05:00

O the possibilities.

Just a Thought...

2008-01-02T01:12:00.001-05:00

Sometimes... I think I talk too much.

Shopping List for 2008

2008-01-01T13:55:00.000-05:00

So... I thought about it and I still have nothing to say about leaving 2007 and going into 2008. All I have is a list of things I would like to get in no particular order.

1. Pay the balance on my room $500.00

2. A new digital camera, you know pocket sized compared to my dSLR, preferably a Sony Cybershot DSC-T100 $300.00

3. A new iPod, well one that holds more music than my Nano, maybe a touch or a classic. It really doesn't matter, probably a classic, I mean I can use the wifi on my phone so... $300.00

4. Another video camera since something unfortunate happened to my other one. I've missed so many recordable moments. I'll probably get a Panasonic PV-GS320 $400.00

5. Polarizing filters for my lenses. $90.00 each

6. Extra memory cards for my cameras and phone.

7. A set of speakers for my up and coming media center lol. Probably the Cyber Acoustics CA-3090RB. $30.00

8. A flat-screen tv that can double as a second monitor for my computer. I planned on buying this last semester or year whatever, but I still haven't decided which one I want. $400.00

I guess 2008 is going to be an expensive year. Not really. Oh well, nobody else is going to buy this stuff for me. I like to know that I can take care of myself. I guess I'll scratch these off as I go.

Tuo Ecaep!

So Yeah... It's 2008

2008-01-01T01:12:00.001-05:00

I guess I'm a little late with this one. But I really don't know what to say. I guess Happy New Year is appropriate. Last year I came up with a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish, but this year I don't think I'm gonna do that. I guess I may make goals as the year goes along. I can just feel the excitement seeping out of my pores. :-|

I think I'll come back and do this a little later when I'm not so blah.

Peace. (-_-)

Forgotten

2007-12-27T04:34:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling forgotten and I wonder why...

Maybe Not...

2007-12-27T03:44:00.001-05:00

Now that I think about it, sometimes my don't care attitude is a bad thing. Like school is kind of like a joke to me since I couldn't care less about it. My grades came back shitty because my attitude was shitty. But it's cool. It's not like I flunked out or anything. I got mostly A's. I guess after all the playing around I did this semester, I was expecting a wake up call when my grades came. Well... I didn't get it, so I'll probably play around next semester too. I'm not happy with this, but I really don't know how to change it. Plus, it seems to work for me. Ah well... idk.

Out Peace.

It's Whatever

2007-12-27T02:54:00.001-05:00

I need to get my don't care attitude back. I'm starting to let to much stuff get to me. That's why I been so (sad) lately. Normally, I wouldn't care, just brush it off and keep it moving. I guess I'm getting soft. I used to be invincible. My attitude was my force field, my protection from all this mushy crap. I don't have time for that. I don't know how long it's going to take for me to get it back like it was.

Peace.

So, He Didn't Actually Steal It....

2007-12-26T16:44:00.001-05:00

...He just borrowed it.

Christmas got a little better. Still not quite what I expected it to be. I kinda got more into the spirit as I was wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve. And then on Christmas Night we had a lot of fun playing games. We played Mad Gab and I found out I'm really good at it. Probably cause I don't speak English well, or so people say, and the clues are a bunch of incoherent nonsense. But yeah, I probably had trouble getting in the spirit because I knew I couldn't buy any gifts this year, and that's my favorite part. But other peoples attitudes didn't help either. Maybe next year will make up for this year.

Peace.

P.S. If anybody out there would like to buy me a plane ticket to Atlanta, it would be greatly appreciated! (^_^)

The Grinch Stole My Christmas...

2007-12-22T17:23:00.002-05:00

...and I'm mad as hell. It looks like its going to be a crappy Christmas this year. Last year it seemed that way too, but I turned it around. This year, I don't think I'm strong enough to do that. I don't even know if I care enough to do that. My favorite holiday...ruined.

First of all, my mother and I always decorate the tree together. This year she called me while I was at school and she was in the process of getting one of her friends to decorate it. I made her wait until I got home. So when I finally did get home, she was upset that I didn't do it as soon as I got there. I guess I can understand that.... kinda... not really. But she kept saying how much she wanted a pretty tree this year. I guess the only way to have a pretty tree is to have it professionally decorated, which is why she was having her friend do it. But what's the fun in that. A lot of times decorating the tree can put me more in the Christmas spirit if I'm not already there. Not this year. It just made me not want to be here even more.

Plus it's just random bullshit happening all around me that just makes me want to scream. It's SSDD around here. People just don't change, no matter how much you think they have or think they really want to. It gets old really quick.

I'm starting to think I really should have stayed at school. (Nobody was jumping up and down excited to see me anyway except Kooley. I can always count on him.) But then I would have been homeless in the freezing cold. Oh well... that probably would have been better than being here burning.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Probably not. Maybe next year will be a better Christmas. We'll see. But it seems to me that people are beginning to think that they are getting too old for Christmas. I really don't get that. Maybe I won't be spending to many more holidays with the drama loving people.

peace (-_-)

Midnight Train to Georgia

2007-12-18T02:29:00.001-05:00

So I'm going home tomorrow... well, today I guess. For some reason I don't really want to go home. I feel like it might be a little hectic at home. Plus I'll be working so I can buy some Christmas gifts. I want to just chill. Matter of fact, I need to just chill. These last few days have been pleasant. It's been me and the Favorite hanging out, and occasionally the Strange One too. The Funny One left a week ago. When I go home, I'll be without my children for almost a month. How sad. We're going to have to do conference calls and maybe schedule a visit. I guess I should be a little bit more excited to be going home seeing as I have peeps to see there also. But I know I will be walking back into a different world of responsibility when I just escaped one a few days ago. I don't even have a full week to relax. But... ah well. That's life. Everything can't be a hundred percent great.

Tuo Ecaep...

I'm Bored...

2007-12-15T23:43:00.001-05:00

...Like deathly bored. I have a few more days until I go home and I don't know what to do with myself. We just been chilling trying not to go crazy. Today we decided to play dress-up. It was kinda hilarious. I don't know what to do next. It's not like I can sleep the time away, unless I take one of my sleeping pills... But then, it's no telling when I might wake up.

Ah well. Out peace.

Toe Pick!

2007-12-09T19:14:00.002-05:00

So... yesterday I took my children ice skating. They we're mostly inexperienced having never been before. I myself hadn't been ice skating in years. I think the last time I went I was in fourth grade. It was a lot of fun. I think the kiddies enjoyed it. I had so much fun. So... we're going again on Saturday. I'm so excited. Yaaaayyyy!

Peace out. I'm signing off.

By children, don't think I have four babies running around. I'm too young for that.

Almost Over

2007-12-04T22:54:00.000-05:00

Finals are kicking my bootay right now. Not really... I'm just procrastinating.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-03T22:29:00.001-05:00

I finally got my ear pierced.

:(

2007-12-03T04:02:00.001-05:00

I think I've lost my sense of humor....

Mission: Failed

2007-12-02T19:32:00.001-05:00

So...yeah.... My ear is naked. I went to the mall to the shop to get my ear pierced. When I asked them to do it, they said they didn't do that type of piercing. But when I was there Wednesday, they said they did and that's why I decided to come back. So Ashley, my favorite child, got her ear pierced alone. Awww.... But she took it like a "G".

So we decided to stop at the tattoo shop on our way home. As we approached it, we saw that the lights were on and there were people inside. I started to get happy. So I pulled on the door handle, only to be rejected by a locked door. That sucks. So I'm going tomorrow when I get out of class. Maybe then I'll have something to show.

Things To Do

2007-12-02T13:29:00.001-05:00

I have a few portraits to start and finish in about a week and a half. Shouldn't be too hard.

I need to learn flash and website design so I won't have to rely on other people. Or if someone on here wants to teach me... Ya know just go over the basics.

I need to get my life together.

I might need to do some school stuff, but that's relatively unimportant right now.

I need to make my photography portfolio, mount some photos and what not.

I need to make some money.

I wanna learn how to snowboard, but I really don't think that's going to happen this week.

Travel abroad... Travel period sometime soon.

Oh yeah. I need to go to the mall so I can get my ear pierced today.

I think that's about it. Ah well... Peace Out...

I guess I can post pics of mi ear

Artistic Musings

2007-11-30T15:50:00.001-05:00

So... I decided that in order to get something done, I should just do it. Whatever I want to do. So I'm putting the school thing on the back burner so I can actually create some artwork which is what I really want to do. So I'm getting started today. Like in a minute. I've been wanting to create my own comic strip and eventually a graphic novel. Also I need to do some portraits and start creating my website. Plus I want to change the look and feel of this bloggy thingy. I have so much to do. Yaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited. Time to get started, so I'll sign off and come back later. Tuo!

I used so a lot in this post.

Not Quite There Yet

2007-11-30T00:59:00.001-05:00

Lately, I've been feeling like I just can't get anything done. I need to finish something. I want to be able to finish something. Just one thing. It's so frustrating. I just want to rip my hair out, but what would that accomplish. I guess I would be getting something done lol. But not really. I don't know what it is that's holding me from crossing the finish line. I finish most of my school work. Well... the important stuff anyway. So, that's not the problem. It's stuff that I want to do that doesn't get done. I only finish my school work because I have to. I guess I'm sort of obligated to doing that because my current occupation is student. The stuff I want to do doesn't get finished not because I don't care about it, but because there's some force that activates when I near the point of completion that says procrastinate or move on or come back later or something like that. And guess what... I never get done. Like right now, my mind is telling me to come back to this post and say something else later because I'm feeling a writer's block coming on. Oh well, I'll post now and then edit if I have something else to say. Otherwise, it would never get done like the fifty other ones I got sitting around in draft form. Eacepay!

2007-11-29T01:42:00.001-05:00

I need to get back into the blog of things...

TRVST

2007-11-29T00:33:00.001-05:00

What's one thing that comes along with trusting people? ...Disappointment.

Oooo... that hurts. When you trust people, you believe they won't let you down. Disappointment is one of the worst feelings in the world. Your expectations just get blown. Disappointment can take you from being on top of a mountain to the deepest, darkest valley.

But why? How can something or someone else control the way you feel. Like they're a marionette and you're the puppet. But it's not in a manipulative sort of way. I don't want to feel like I'm not in control of my emotions, of myself. That's scary as hell.

I've always had trust issues. I think I know where they come from with my analyzing everything and all. Or maybe what I think is just an excuse. I want that to be the reason that I have trust issues. I'm just blaming my problems on that. Maybe I don't even have trust issues, I just think I do, so I've created a mental block and now I can't trust people. Here I go with that analyzing stuff again. But that's neither here nor there.

When I say disappointment, I don't mean that simple mistake, where you can just say oops, my bad, and be done. No, I mean, disappointing someone's heart. And this crushing feeling comes over you like a massive tidal wave whose only objective is to sweep you out to sea. I hate to disappoint. I don't like feeling like that, so I don't want to be the cause of someone else feeling like that.

When you think about trust in the I trust you wholeheartedly kind of sense, it's a little irrational. Why? Because when you trust someone, you believe that they won't hurt you but give them the power to do so with a tragic outcome. But you can't go through life not trusting anyone. That would lead to absolute paranoia.

This isn't really what I had in mind when I started typing. I started writing this about three months ago, and then I stopped and never picked it back up until now. I don't know why. Whateve, that usually happens anyway. Tuo Ecaep.

Anniversary

2007-11-23T18:44:00.001-05:00

Wow. I can't believe a year has gone by already. Thanksgiving is over. I meant to post the night before I left school like last year but... I always mean to do something and it just doesn't happen. I need to work on that. Oh well.... Peace

Treacherous Three

2007-10-22T17:51:00.000-05:00

So yeah... two of mi favorite peeps came to visit me this weekend. YAY! The Treacherous Three Reunion Tour. For those of you who didn't get tickets... what a shame. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You don't know what you missed. Anyway... It was fun, but they are such a distraction. I didn't get any work done this weekend. I had a midterm in French this morning. Don't ask. I have a problem set due in about 5 hours. (It's really hard!) Oh yeah... I was supposed have at least 1000 words of my 3000 word essay written last night. Guess how many I have. And it's due on Wednesday. This all-nighter thing is really getting old. But let me get back to work. Tuo Ecaep!

Blockage

2007-10-13T20:16:00.000-05:00

Ummmm yeah..... I think I have productivity block or something. I can't study for more than like thirty minutes to an hour, even with moving to a new subject. So I'll go to something else like drawing, writing, or playing my guitar, and guess what.... that doesn't work either. Not to mention the fact that I get this feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach for doing something I wanna do but not having my work done. Talk about mind games. So usually, I spend my time wasting it: watching the idiot box or clowning around with folks or just lounging. Yeah, lot's of work and creativity happening there.

Oh no! I'm getting symptoms for guilt flu. Better sign off before it overcomes me and I become bed ridden. Out peace.

Crazy

2007-10-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

Yeah so I think I'm crazy. Well I know I am but I think I'm making it worse with this school thing. I'm trying to figure it out, but I'm tired of talking about it, but I really haven't talked it out fully with anybody, except in my own head, hence the crazy thing. I have a tendency to get inside my head and stay there for awhile. But even so I haven't fully thought it out yet. I don't want to make any rash decisions. I just need to block out some time and think and talk. But to whom? Oh woe is me.

Art

2007-10-03T21:32:00.000-05:00

"I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer or... just a moment of clarity. It's like when you go and you see a really great band live for the first time, you know, and nobody's saying it but everybody's thinking it-- "We have something to believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But, I can't. And if I can't be great at it then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."
-Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

This is like one of my favorite quotes from a t.v. show. Whoever the writers are, they hit the nail dead on the head with this one. So many times I've felt like this. It's this feeling you wanna draw, and if it doesn't come out right then, it's like you don't want to ruin it. I just wanna be able to truly express myself and for someone to feel the emotion I put into my work when they look at it. Maybe to get some insight into how I was feeling at that point. Maybe not even that but for them to just feel that something is going on....

to be continued....