Treacherous Three

So yeah... two of mi favorite peeps came to visit me this weekend. YAY! The Treacherous Three Reunion Tour. For those of you who didn't get tickets... what a shame. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You don't know what you missed. Anyway... It was fun, but they are such a distraction. I didn't get any work done this weekend. I had a midterm in French this morning. Don't ask. I have a problem set due in about 5 hours. (It's really hard!) Oh yeah... I was supposed have at least 1000 words of my 3000 word essay written last night. Guess how many I have. And it's due on Wednesday. This all-nighter thing is really getting old. But let me get back to work. Tuo Ecaep!

Blockage

Ummmm yeah..... I think I have productivity block or something. I can't study for more than like thirty minutes to an hour, even with moving to a new subject. So I'll go to something else like drawing, writing, or playing my guitar, and guess what.... that doesn't work either. Not to mention the fact that I get this feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach for doing something I wanna do but not having my work done. Talk about mind games. So usually, I spend my time wasting it: watching the idiot box or clowning around with folks or just lounging. Yeah, lot's of work and creativity happening there.

Oh no! I'm getting symptoms for guilt flu. Better sign off before it overcomes me and I become bed ridden. Out peace.

Crazy

Yeah so I think I'm crazy. Well I know I am but I think I'm making it worse with this school thing. I'm trying to figure it out, but I'm tired of talking about it, but I really haven't talked it out fully with anybody, except in my own head, hence the crazy thing. I have a tendency to get inside my head and stay there for awhile. But even so I haven't fully thought it out yet. I don't want to make any rash decisions. I just need to block out some time and think and talk. But to whom? Oh woe is me.

Art

"I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer or... just a moment of clarity. It's like when you go and you see a really great band live for the first time, you know, and nobody's saying it but everybody's thinking it-- "We have something to believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But, I can't. And if I can't be great at it then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."
-Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

This is like one of my favorite quotes from a t.v. show. Whoever the writers are, they hit the nail dead on the head with this one. So many times I've felt like this. It's this feeling you wanna draw, and if it doesn't come out right then, it's like you don't want to ruin it. I just wanna be able to truly express myself and for someone to feel the emotion I put into my work when they look at it. Maybe to get some insight into how I was feeling at that point. Maybe not even that but for them to just feel that something is going on....

to be continued....