Workin' Woman

So yeah, I'm back at work. But I don't think they were ready for me. I had no set cubicle, no computer, no phone... Right now I'm sittin in the cubicle with the coffee pot, supplies, references, and other work. So basically, the break/storage one. It's koo. I mean I know what to expect now workin for the g-ment. I'm excited to be back (stackin that paper) but I'm so exhausted. I got home Saturday night, and where am I bright and early Moday morning? At work. Can I get a break! I mean I told them when I was comin, I just didn't realize I would be so tired. Yeah I been runnin on empty since finals week, but thats a whole notha story. I gotta time stamp this myself since I have no computer and my laptop can access the security restricted wireless. So...9:53am CST. Well peace out, I'm signing off.

In Transit

So I had a flight scheduled for 12:59 ET. Yeah I was supposed to wake up at like 9:30 this morning, take out my rollers, get dressed, turn my test in, etc. and leave my room before 11:30. Well...obviously that didn't work out or else I wouldn't be writing about it. Mind you I didn't go to sleep until 8:30. Nonetheless, I got up at 9:30 when my alarm rang, but I made the constantly ill-fated move of laying my head back down (I have no snooze button, wind-up alarm clock) So I died for an hour and a half and woke up at 11. Big problem. So much to do, so little time. Long story short, I left the room at around 11:50 and arrived at the airport at 12:45. No chance of making that flight. So I sit here waiting on the next one (25 dollars for same day confirmation...sheesh!) But I'm about to board in a coupla minutes so until later. Ecaep tuo! This is me signing off...O but I'll be back! With a vengeance! LOL. (This was actually written at 13:24, but no wireless service so will be posted at later time)

Procrastination

That evil monster Procrastination has bitten me once again. I finally went to the store to get the stuff for my final yesterday. However, I still haven't started on it and I probably won't get much done on tomorrow. So it's due on Friday at 8 am. That gives me about 4 days working time to the 9 drawings and model, not to mention, the 12 - 15 page paper that I haven't started on either. Yeah this sucks but I brought it on myself as usual. But it's koo, I'll just apply my philosophy, don't worry about it and it won't cause any stress. If it gets done, it gets done; if it doesn't, it doesn't. I know that's kinda crazy with it being a final and ya know determines my passing or not, but whatever that really doesn't matter I just don't want any stress, so I have to take on that attitude. Maybe I should get started...maybe tomor...maybe Monday, definitely Monday. Well out peace, I'm signing off...

Reevaluate...

I'm sitting here about to watch RENT for the umpteenth thousandth time just thinking...I really need to reevaluate my lifestyle. My life is so out of focus right now. It's ridiculous. Lately, I've been feeling myself veering away from the old me. I know change is inevitable, but these changes aren't the changes I want to see. In the beginning of the school year I was feeling a bit like a lowlife. Not being able to focus, not caring, and just saying f*** everything and everybody. My feelings from the end of senior year carried over to this year. Exactly what I didn't want to happen, but I called it and it did happen. I didn't want to start off college with a I don't care attitude. But I did, and now I am attempting to fix it. There were a few points this semester when I felt like I was getting my life on track, but overall, it's not where I want it to be. Thus the need for the reevaluation. But ah well, it will get there eventually. I want to feel like me again and get out of this rut. I think I know what I need to do. The solution is probably floating around somewhere in my subconscious, just chillin and waiting for me to discover it. I will soon enough and really get my lifestyle in order. Well peace out, I'm signing off.

Passionless...

I remember the days when I could do nothing but sit at my drafting table and just draw for hours and hours. What happened to those days? Now, I'm lucky to want to do a quick sketch. I miss those days when as soon as I opened my eyes I had a pencil in my hand. When did art become such a labor, a chore to me? Art used to be fun. It made me happy. I need that back. Why am I so uninspired? Arrrghh! I just want to sit, chill, and let it flow. The most recent thing I've drawn, besides random sketches for class, was a tattoo for a friend of mine. I enjoyed that, I want to get back to that. Now it seems the only way I can sit down and draw is if its an assignment or a commission. Even then, I feel uninspired half the time. It seems as though I can do nothing original, from the heart anymore. I just want to get back to my craft, my passion. Get back to expressing myself the only way I know how.

International Flava

So lately, I've been uncertain/unsatisfied with my decision to pursue a degree in architecture. Like I mentioned earlier, it's something that I enjoy doing but I never gave myself a chance to enjoy something else. I can see myself designing buildings, both residential and commercial, in the future. As I sat down to study for and take my exam today, I listened in on a conversation a 23 year old architecture male freshman was having with a 17 year old architecture female freshman about his age and delayed entry. He said he saved up and traveled after his senior year in high school, something I've been wanting to do. I really want to go to France and am planning a trip next summer my mother and I. To be a successful architecture student, I believe you have to be a student of the world. What better way to do that than travel and be an international student. I speak the language, sorta. I want to travel soon; however, there's always that nagging voice in my head saying where's the money, you'll fall behind in school, you gotta get shots {YIKES!!}, etc. Ummm...I don't know how I would finance the trip, but I think if I took a year off from school now (especially since I missed that in between senior and freshman year spot) I'll be more apt to accept my fate as a student of architecture and ready and willing to pursue it. I think it'll help a lot with the feelings I've been throwing around lately about getting too deep and wasting time in this major. I'll probably stick with it. Ah well major decisions. Peace out, I'm signing off.

S.S.D.D.

So today is just going from bad to worst. First, I was supposed to wake up at 7:00. But no, what time did I wake up? 9 o damn clock! So I missed my 8 o'clock English class. This was my fourth absence in there. So, what happens now? My grade gets automatically dropped a freakin letter. I missed French yesterday. For some reason I just have not been wakin up correctly. Yeah, Same Shit Different Day. But that's not it. I got my assignment for my final review in Design Comm. today. Yeah I made it to that class 30 minutes late, luckily its a 2 hour course. So yeah, got the assignment, its a doozy. 8 drawings and a model due in 11 days. O yeah he gave us this bullshit quiz on some student presentations from the beginning of the semester that I slept through. I mean wat the hell else was I supposed to do, listen? I don't think so. After that frightening disappointment, I move on to my next class and get my final assignment in there. Ummm...a 12 to 15 page paper on a museum exhibit done in a team of 2-3. This is ridiculous, I don't want nobody else having any kind of effect on my final grade. AAAAAAAArrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, let me chill and sign off before I shoot somebody. Peace out. ;(