Art

"I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer or... just a moment of clarity. It's like when you go and you see a really great band live for the first time, you know, and nobody's saying it but everybody's thinking it-- "We have something to believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But, I can't. And if I can't be great at it then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."
-Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

This is like one of my favorite quotes from a t.v. show. Whoever the writers are, they hit the nail dead on the head with this one. So many times I've felt like this. It's this feeling you wanna draw, and if it doesn't come out right then, it's like you don't want to ruin it. I just wanna be able to truly express myself and for someone to feel the emotion I put into my work when they look at it. Maybe to get some insight into how I was feeling at that point. Maybe not even that but for them to just feel that something is going on....

to be continued....

Dazed and Confused

I've been going through a rough period these past couple of months. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do about school. It would be perfect if I could just go to a school and make up my own curriculum. I don't necessarily have to be working towards a degree, I just wanna take classes in things I'm interested in and stuff I think will improve me. I want to take some art classes, philosophy classes, classics classes, photography classes, all kinds of stuff. I think it would be best suited for me to leave the school I'm at and go to a community college or something. Other people don't see it that way, as if I'm above a cc or something. WTF. Seriously, give me a break. I don't mind, I just want to learn. I would like to have this figured out by January. Like thats going to happen. IDK. I'm sure I'll think of something. Peace out for now.

back

Okay... so my puter's really fixed now and I'm back at school with some new developments. I'll fill you in soon and I won't disappear for a whole entire month again.

Cross Your Fingers

I think I fixed my puter.... :D

EvoL?

You know most people want what they can't or don't have. ...And love is no different. Everybody feels the need to be desired, even those who you wouldn't normally think want it. They do. Why? Because it's human nature.

More people are hopeless romantics than you might think. A lot of them don't publicly admit it. Well...I have to admit, I am one of those people. Wait...you may say, the girl who thinks she has no emoition but anger? Yeah, the same girl. I never thought the two were related. I just had ideas of what could or should be. I already admitted to being a walking contradiction.

People want that fairy tale romance, the ones that they see in movies or read about in books. Sigh...I'm one those who thought that I could have something Corey and Topanga. They touched my heart with that story. I guess that's the whole point of a story, to rope you in and make you wish you had that. But is it really obtainable for most people. Sure, there are some real life fairy tale romances out there, but how do you make it happen.

It's like Carrie Bradshaw said, "I want to find that head over heels love." You know that sweep me off my feet, take my breath away kind of love. Sigh...

I think a lot of people find it, but the trouble is holding on to it. People sabotage their own relationships without even thinking about it. Some people nitpick, always looking for something to go wrong and then stuff starts to go wrong. Not a pretty site. Some people don't think they deserve it, and they're insecure in the relationship. People sabotage their own relationships in many ways. (I am by no means innocent in this area. Guilty :( ...) Outside influences can tear you down. But lets not go through all that.

So... how do you hold on to that I can't breathe without you love? IDK. But I hope I'm lucky blessed enough to find that one person and hold on to them. <3

Wendi is out looking for love.

Check-Up

First of all...Happy Father's Day

Second of all...Happy Belated Birthday to myself.

Third of all...My computer is still so.... you know that's the reason for the lack of Wendi J.

Now let's get down to business. The purpose of this post (as the title suggest) is to be a mid-year check-up. No not on my computer's health. Tear. :( But on my goals that I made at the beginning of the year. I'm a year older (in the middle of the year. te he he), but time is running out and I need to check on my progress.

The "hold an intelligent conversation in French"... hmm... I can understand someone talking to me but I'm a little stunted when I respond. I guess I'm searching for the right words in my mind. Still need to improve on that. C

"Be on my way to becoming a better person"... steadily progressing, I love myself (not in a Band-Aid kind of way) but me, myself, and I could all be homies. A++ on that progress. (Not that I didn't not like myself before)

"Get my life in order"... LOL, like thats ever gonna happen. Changed my major and have been considering some career options. I believe I'm making progess. I keep surprising myself. B-.

"Get in shape"... I'm a bum. F. I've been to the gym like twice, but I jump rope a lot...errr... sometimes.

"No Meat!" ....Making it... kinda... I decided to eat fish, one day I won't even be eating that, but it'll be a gradual process. B+

"Improve photography and artistic capabilities"... Hmmm... I have been working on my photography and I'm getting back to my art. I decided to set up a website and sell some of it. But I'll talk about that later days. B

"Do me"... Yeah, I've been doing that to the fullest. I think I surprised some people and pissed others off. Oh well, long as I'm being true to myself. A++ 100%

Mid-terms grades not so hot. (YUCK!) Hmmm... I'll improve. Got to.

Peace.

I'm Back!

Ok. So..I had a few technical difficulties. My computer got really, really sick and had to go the ICU (Intensive Care Unit for those of you who don't know hospital lingo), the internet on the house computer wasn't working, and blogging while you work is frowned upon. The fever's almost gone, there's still a cough here and there, but we're operational again. I'll keep you posted (<- LOL Nice pun) with my posts. :D

Peace Out.

Sign Off.

End Transmital.

CLEAR!!!!