I know I said last week that I would post some more about the painting on Friday but Friday has totally passed me by. I suck at deadlines, self-imposed and outsider imposed. Not a good look. Anyway life and frustrations got in the way of me finishing this sketch. I'm not ecstatic with it but since it isn't the final, I decided I should stop fussing over it. So that I did. It's fine with me as long as it shows of the concept I was going for. The image quality of this sketch is subpar because my scanner totally sucks today so I snapped a pic of it with my because it would have been waaaayyyy too much of a hassle to use my SLR. Call me Lazy J this week. Whatever, I have the right to be lazy every once in awhile.

But anyway, here goes the second third of Music is my Drug.


Once I started drawing this, I had one direction in mind and I totally ended up going a different way. My usual way that is. I was trying to do something different by giving this more of a cartoony feel, but I suck at that and my stuff always ends up on the more realistic side. Oh well.

Music is my Drug

So..I haven't died or anything. I've just been busy. It's been a minute since I missed an entire month of posting. I been slackin on my pimpin. But oh well, t'is the past and I can't change it. But since it's been so long, I decided to preview a painting that I've been working on this past month. It's called Music is my Drug. This is only a tiny snippet. It's still in the sketchbook planning phase so the color scheme may change.

I know it's not much so I'll reveal the rest on Friday. Hopefully. Cross your fingers "X"

Until next time, peace out.

Oh and btw, those words won't be just floating out in the air like that. But you'll see when I reveal the entire concept.

What's in a Name?

I need to come up with a name for this new weekly project that I'm working on. Last week I called it weekly check-up, but that was because I hadn't thought of anything yet and that made sense at the time. It's not the permanent name that I want to keep so if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.

So far the guidelines are that I pick a theme or subject or medium for the week and come up with either a piece of art or photography executing that theme. The theme can either come from suggestions or my own head. I will reveal the final piece in a blog post at the end of the week, either Friday or Saturday.

If you have a title or theme suggestion, shoot me a comment.

Weekly Check-Up 1

So...this year off I'm working on my portfolio for grad school. To help me stay on track, I made a deal with my friends to post some art work or something at the end of each week to show that I've been working on something. All of these works won't end up in my portfolio but they are helping me get back in the mix of things since it's been so long since I've used my drawing skills. This week was the first week and I probably picked a pretty hard subject to jump right back into drawing,, but it's something close to my heart, my camera. I decided to draw it because I couldn't capture in the earlier post that showed my tools. This is the beginning of my journey. I decided to show various stages of completion to show how I work.


This first image is me putting down the outline of my camera. You can see some of the construction lines that I used to guide my angles and the shape of the lens. You can also see a slight difference in the sketching style between the camera and strap. I used a looser style on the strap because it wasn't as necessary to be precise, just needed to rough in the basic shape.


In this image I'm beginning to shade and define the camera's shape and how the light plays on the surface.


It's not finished yet but this is what I have so far. I used a hatch on the strap instead of the smoother shading I used on the camera body to give the strap some texture. There's still some white spaces because I haven't decided how detailed I want to get and whether or not I want to draw in the brand name and writings on the lens. Also, I haven't quite figured out how I want to deal with the glass on the lens yet. I still need to darken the values in some places to give it a more finished look.

New Ventures

I think I want to start a new blog/website that isn't so personal. It would have a theme and more of a focus than this one. I acknowledge the fact that most of my posting here is random, but that can be excused somewhat because of the nature of this blog. Most of what I say is kind of irrelevant to the general public because I'm just talking about how I feel and what's going on in my life at the moment and not discussing something outside of my inner circle. For that reason I want to do something new while still maintaining this here glimpse into my world. I hope I have something meaningful to add to the interwebs. I'm thinking about maybe a sketch and photoblog where I capture the world around me and share why I think its beautiful. It would be kind of like finding beauty in everyday life, in ordinary things. What do you think? Any suggestions?

Full Moon

So my mom calls me up as she's driving home and says, "Can you take a picture of the moon? Because I'm having a hard time and it's so pretty :-)" I said sure and this is what I came out with.


The moon itself.


The moon poking through the clouds.


More clouds with the moon. (This is actually a composite image because I had to overexpose to get the right light on the clouds and that blew out the detail in the moon. So I photoshopped a plain moon over the blown out moon and voila!)

Tuo

Chasing Perfection While Standing Still

This is how I feel sometimes, especially when writing. It really plagues me. I want my first attempt to be perfect for some reason, even if it's something trivial or something that only my eyes will see. I know I'm anal, but this is beyond that.

Take my sketchbooks or my journals for example, there is a very particular way that I lay them out, the handwriting must be smooth and flawless because I hate strikethroughs, but I hate white out even more. I always think ahead to when all that's left of me are the things I've written and drawn; I want those things to represent me in a good light, the best light. At least I think that may be the reason behind this craziness.

What's the problem with wanting to be perfect or near-perfect? Nothing really, except that in my desire for perfection, I stifle my production. I get stuck in the planning and brainstorming phases coming up with what I think are wonderful ideas, but never putting pen or colored pencil to paper because I don't want it to come out wrong. This is the main reason why it takes me so long to finish essays for class, post to my blog, or add to my portfolio. I want my first attempt to be perfect so there's lots of self-implied pressure that I have to overcome.

I really hate that I'm like this so I have been trying to let loose and let it flow. To get my papers done, I have to fool myself by typing my rough and final drafts in note-taking software instead of directly into Word. The crazy part is, I like what I write the first time around so there's really no need to change anything, but I wouldn't be able to write that if I had started in Word. I'm crazy. I need to get over this quickly before I have nothing to show for my life. I need to  stop letting my fear of failure halt my progress. Any suggestions?

Peace

Portrait

My life is an adventure. I write my own story.

This thought inspired the theme of my self-portrait. Will post when it's done.

Mini Ninjas

This is the most beautiful game trailer I have ever seen. I want to make movies like this one day.

Some Stuff I Would Like to do in the Near Future

I've gone M.I.A. once again, only because I've been writing elsewhere. Recently I've been doing a lot of thinking and writing on my phone when I'm in class or at work or whenever I have a spare minute. Usually it's a list or some random thoughts that I have of some things I want to do or learn or whatever. Here's a list of a few things that I feel fall under the area of self-improvement that I wrote while chilling in my art history class.

1. I want to create a book that contains pictures of all my art works and my thoughts on them to be saved for posterity. So maybe if anybody's ever interested in them, they'll have access to the artist's  thoughts long after I'm gone. This should also make me want to produce more work, I always want to do that.

2. I want a sketch diary for me to learn new techniques and see myself progress. You're never too advanced to learn and perfect new or old techniques :-). I also want to be able to critique myself. I would also use this to plan some works and themes to work on. I would see what influences me and develop my own style. Maybe I'll have an inspiration section in there too.

3. I want to start a reading journal where I keep my thoughts on books I've read and any questions I have about them. I really don't like to write in books but sometimes I have quick thoughts to jot down and I have nowhere to put them. Hopefully writing things down will help with my reading comprehension and ability to see connections between works I've read. Also, I'll be able to have a dialogue with myself for those books I revisit, I can see how my interpretation changes with age and experience. I'll probably keep an updated list of authors and books I want to read in there too.

4. I want to start a hair diary to chronicle my hair's journey. I want to start taking better care of my hair, so this will be a place where I keep a record of what does and doesn't work for me. Also, I want to try more hairstyles. Maybe I'll keep pictures in there so I remember how certain styles look.

5.  I want a more active lifestyle. I definitely want to pick up a martial art to stick with for the rest of my life. Not so much for the fighting aspect, but for the mental discipline. I'm fascinated with Asian culture, so I feel like this would be a good connection. Also, I want to start biking. I think it would be cool to bike around the city, even though some of my peers may find it geeky. I really want a recumbent bike. I want to be more fit.

This is it for now, but I'm sure more will be added. Hopefully, I'll get back to posting more often too. I'm also thinking of starting a new blog that will be on one specific topic instead of completely random like this one.

Reflection

My latest project is a self-portrait and I'm scared as hell. Why?

...Because 1) portraits are my favorite subject and 2) I think self-portraits are phenomenal because you can see what the artist thinks of him or herself. So much personality comes out in a self-portrait. I put self-portraits on a pedestal and I don't want to fail trying to climb up there.

But that's not going to keep me from doing one. But I'm wondering if someone will be able to understand one thing about me by looking at this portrait. That's what I'm shooting for. I hope I succeed.

Until next time.... Tuo Ecaep

Excitement

I'm getting back my creative juices. Yay! I'm so excited because I haven't been able to produce anything meaningful for quite some time. I was stuck in a rut but I think I might be slowly pulling myself out of it. I want rearrange sometimes in my room (like I don't do that enough) to give me a better feel. This is by no means the best artistic space that I have been in. Actually it kinda sucks out your will to create. But I'm going to have to fight pass that. Maybe I should get a  new journal and sketchbook to celebrate. O how I love to crack open a new one and figure out what kind of story it's going to tell. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I better hop to it.

Peace.

Coming Soon...

So me and my homie Diana are seriously thinking about forming a start up. I won't go into any details, because it's our newborn baby and I wanna keep it under wraps. We don't want The Man stealing our ideas. Anyway, be expecting something supremely creative, something definitively Joi & Diana.

If anyone would like to invest contact me or Diana for more info.

Artistic Musings

So... I decided that in order to get something done, I should just do it. Whatever I want to do. So I'm putting the school thing on the back burner so I can actually create some artwork which is what I really want to do. So I'm getting started today. Like in a minute. I've been wanting to create my own comic strip and eventually a graphic novel. Also I need to do some portraits and start creating my website. Plus I want to change the look and feel of this bloggy thingy. I have so much to do. Yaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited. Time to get started, so I'll sign off and come back later. Tuo!

I used so a lot in this post.

Not Quite There Yet

Lately, I've been feeling like I just can't get anything done. I need to finish something. I want to be able to finish something. Just one thing. It's so frustrating. I just want to rip my hair out, but what would that accomplish. I guess I would be getting something done lol. But not really. I don't know what it is that's holding me from crossing the finish line. I finish most of my school work. Well... the important stuff anyway. So, that's not the problem. It's stuff that I want to do that doesn't get done. I only finish my school work because I have to. I guess I'm sort of obligated to doing that because my current occupation is student. The stuff I want to do doesn't get finished not because I don't care about it, but because there's some force that activates when I near the point of completion that says procrastinate or move on or come back later or something like that. And guess what... I never get done. Like right now, my mind is telling me to come back to this post and say something else later because I'm feeling a writer's block coming on. Oh well, I'll post now and then edit if I have something else to say. Otherwise, it would never get done like the fifty other ones I got sitting around in draft form. Eacepay!

Blockage

Ummmm yeah..... I think I have productivity block or something. I can't study for more than like thirty minutes to an hour, even with moving to a new subject. So I'll go to something else like drawing, writing, or playing my guitar, and guess what.... that doesn't work either. Not to mention the fact that I get this feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach for doing something I wanna do but not having my work done. Talk about mind games. So usually, I spend my time wasting it: watching the idiot box or clowning around with folks or just lounging. Yeah, lot's of work and creativity happening there.

Oh no! I'm getting symptoms for guilt flu. Better sign off before it overcomes me and I become bed ridden. Out peace.

Art

"I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer or... just a moment of clarity. It's like when you go and you see a really great band live for the first time, you know, and nobody's saying it but everybody's thinking it-- "We have something to believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But, I can't. And if I can't be great at it then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."
-Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

This is like one of my favorite quotes from a t.v. show. Whoever the writers are, they hit the nail dead on the head with this one. So many times I've felt like this. It's this feeling you wanna draw, and if it doesn't come out right then, it's like you don't want to ruin it. I just wanna be able to truly express myself and for someone to feel the emotion I put into my work when they look at it. Maybe to get some insight into how I was feeling at that point. Maybe not even that but for them to just feel that something is going on....

to be continued....

Wasting Away

DNWP-Does Not Work to Potential. I've never gotten that comment, but I'm beginning to think I should have. I came into this world a very blessed person. I've frequently been told that I have many talents. I am not writing this in any way to brag on myself, but I consider myself intelligent, naturally athletic (I played basketball, baseball, volleyball, ran track, and swam), and artistic, basically just innately gifted. But what exactly am I doing with these gifts?

I've never really struggled in school. Most subjects come easy to me. I can read about a concept and understand it, or I can listen to a teacher lecture and understand it. Usually, I can be introduced to information once and recall it later for a test without having to "study hard," I just gets filed away. I've said this to many people, including teachers and a reporter, "I'm not as smart as most people think I am, I just have a good memory." Most people don't believe me, I don't know what I believe. I don't want to just rely on my memory, I want to optimize my intelligence. I guess I can start with cracking open a book and actually studying.

Sports were the same way, they came easy to me. I enjoy basketball, track, and swimming the most. I played volleyball and softball cause my dad suggested it, not because I really wanted to. I've played on a lot of basketball teams, I stopped playing organized ball in 8th grade. I played softball for one year and stopped, I played club volleyball for one year and stopped, and I ran track for one year and stopped. I seriously regret not running track anymore, the other two not so much. I stopped training for swimming after my accident really. I still leisurely play basketball, run, and swim though. But the point I'm trying to make is, when I think about that, I feel like a quitter. Granted I finished the seasons out before I stopped, but I still stopped. My excuse was teams aren't my thing. I'm not really sure I believe that. I'm not saying I was the best player on the teams and they were holding back my potential. I wasn't bad either. I was good, could've been great at somethings. What a waste.

Art is the same way, it came naturally. And now my talent is at a standstill. Why? Because I never really tried to develop it, because it didn't seem like I had to. I tell people all the time, "I'm not as good an artist as you think I am." I just have an eye. I have good hand/eye coordination and can replicate details pretty nicely. I probably shouldn't talk bad about myself, so I'll think I'll stop saying that. Anyway, that's going to change I'm working to improve my craft everyday now. You know the saying, "If you don't use it, you'll lose it." Well, I don't want to lose it. Art is my heart and I wanna practice it for the rest of my life. God has blessed me with these abilities, I want to find a way to do something with all of them and finally WFP- Work to my FULL POTENTIAL!

Signing off now...this has been quite the motivator today. 12:48 CST

P.S. The thing about teams not being my thing, complete fabrication. I enjoyed being on the Scholar's Bowl and Hi-Q teams. Ahh well....

Passionless...

I remember the days when I could do nothing but sit at my drafting table and just draw for hours and hours. What happened to those days? Now, I'm lucky to want to do a quick sketch. I miss those days when as soon as I opened my eyes I had a pencil in my hand. When did art become such a labor, a chore to me? Art used to be fun. It made me happy. I need that back. Why am I so uninspired? Arrrghh! I just want to sit, chill, and let it flow. The most recent thing I've drawn, besides random sketches for class, was a tattoo for a friend of mine. I enjoyed that, I want to get back to that. Now it seems the only way I can sit down and draw is if its an assignment or a commission. Even then, I feel uninspired half the time. It seems as though I can do nothing original, from the heart anymore. I just want to get back to my craft, my passion. Get back to expressing myself the only way I know how.